Joke of the Day - Chevy TrailBlazer, TrailBlazer SS and GMC Envoy Forum



Welcome Enthusiast! If you already own a Chevy TrailBlazer or GMC Envoy or perhaps thinking of purchasing such a vehicle, then you have come to the best TrailBlazer and Envoy site on the net! Rainier, Bravada, Ascender, and 9-7x owners welcome too!

You are currently viewing our site as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to search and post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.
Join Today!
Go Back   Chevy TrailBlazer, TrailBlazer SS and GMC Envoy Forum > The Lounge > Everything Off-Topic

Everything Off-Topic A place to post pics, videos or to talk about anything, NOT RELATED to TrailVoys. (Please use good judgement)

TrailVoy.com is the premier GMC Envoy Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 07-25-2005, 09:59 AM
Blulytes's Avatar
Blulytes Blulytes is offline
TrailVoy Alumni
 
2008 Audi A6 3.2 Quattro S-Line
Silver Other AWD
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Philadelphia PA
Posts: 3,492
Joke of the Day

I always enjoy a good chuckle, so if you get a good joke, feel free to post it up.

So without further ado....


The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:

Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough , however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh" it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man say they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Leggos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 - year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jello.

15. VCR's do no eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonder. First grade... true story:

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said.. Holy Sh*t!! A talking pig!"
__________________
Me-Joe
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #2  
Old 07-25-2005, 10:28 AM
Dacomputernerd's Avatar
Dacomputernerd Dacomputernerd is offline
TrailVoy Alumni
 
2005 Chevy TrailBlazer LT EXT
Silverstone Metallic 5.3L V8 4X4
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: na
Posts: 3,716
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blulytes
"...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said.. Holy Sh*t!! A talking pig!"
LMAO!!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #3  
Old 07-25-2005, 10:28 AM
ENVOY2LOW43's Avatar
ENVOY2LOW43 ENVOY2LOW43 is offline
TrailVoy Alumni
 
2003 GMC Envoy SLE
Onyx Black 4.2L I6 4X4
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Wilmette, IL.
Posts: 1,504
I always like to start my day with a good joke. That's a good one!
__________________
Dennis

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #4  
Old 07-26-2005, 12:10 PM
Blulytes's Avatar
Blulytes Blulytes is offline
TrailVoy Alumni
 
2008 Audi A6 3.2 Quattro S-Line
Silver Other AWD
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Philadelphia PA
Posts: 3,492
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriff's Deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense...

Deputy says, "License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign .."
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket."
Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir." At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving snot out of the lawyer and says: "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
__________________
Me-Joe
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #5  
Old 07-26-2005, 12:15 PM
sallen's Avatar
sallen sallen is offline
Senior Member
 
2005 Chevy TrailBlazer LT
Black 4.2L I6 2WD
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Orlando Florida
Posts: 528


shay
__________________
2005 Trailblazer
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #6  
Old 07-26-2005, 12:18 PM
Jman423's Avatar
Jman423 Jman423 is offline
No longer with us
 
2007 Chevy TrailBlazer SS (1SS)
Red Jewel Tintcoat 6.0L LS2 V8 2WD
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,307
Lesson learned!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #7  
Old 07-26-2005, 12:41 PM
ENVOY2LOW43's Avatar
ENVOY2LOW43 ENVOY2LOW43 is offline
TrailVoy Alumni
 
2003 GMC Envoy SLE
Onyx Black 4.2L I6 4X4
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Wilmette, IL.
Posts: 1,504
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new models. There was one I would really like to have."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price make sure you get all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer 900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he asks: "Anyone know who this 'cell phone' belongs to?"

__________________
Dennis

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #8  
Old 07-26-2005, 12:54 PM
ENVOY2LOW43's Avatar
ENVOY2LOW43 ENVOY2LOW43 is offline
TrailVoy Alumni
 
2003 GMC Envoy SLE
Onyx Black 4.2L I6 4X4
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Wilmette, IL.
Posts: 1,504
An office manager was given the task of hiring an
individual to
fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found
four
people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them
only
one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the
job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the
interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

Acknowledging MAN #1, the man replied, "A
THOUGHT". It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's
on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
"And now you sir?" he asked MAN#2. "Hmm.... let me
see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever
happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very
popular cliche for speed."
He then turned to MAN#3 who was contemplating his
reply.

"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the
wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across
the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A
LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and
thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light"
he said.

Turning to the fourth and final man, the
interviewer posed the same question.
MAN#3 replied, " After hearing the 3 previous answers, it's
obvious to me that the fastest thing known is Diarrhea."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"O I can explain ." said MAN #4. " YOU SEE , the other
day I wasn't feeling so good and I run soo fast to the toilet but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE
LIGHT, I already had a poo-poo in my
pants.

__________________
Dennis

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #9  
Old 07-26-2005, 01:27 PM
sallen's Avatar
sallen sallen is offline
Senior Member
 
2005 Chevy TrailBlazer LT
Black 4.2L I6 2WD
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Orlando Florida
Posts: 528
__________________
2005 Trailblazer
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #10  
Old 07-26-2005, 02:31 PM
Dacomputernerd's Avatar
Dacomputernerd Dacomputernerd is offline
TrailVoy Alumni
 
2005 Chevy TrailBlazer LT EXT
Silverstone Metallic 5.3L V8 4X4
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: na
Posts: 3,716
Good Jokes
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Chevy TrailBlazer, TrailBlazer SS and GMC Envoy Forum forums, you must first register.

Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
(Only letters, numbers, dashes and underscores are permitted for user names)
The user name that you choose is permanent and can never be changed.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:
Location
Where you live (ex: Philadephia, PA)
Vehicle Year
Choose your year
Or enter your choice here:
Vehicle Color
Choose your factory color (Custom, Not Listed & Two-Tones; Use Text Field Below)
Or enter your choice here:
Vehicle Make
Choose your make
Or enter your choice here:
Vehicle Model
Choose your model
Or enter your choice here:
Vehicle Engine
Choose your engine
Vehicle Drivetrain
Choose your vehicle drivetrain
Security Question
Fill in the blanks: Tra___oy
Insurance
Please select your insurance company (Optional)

Log-in



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
LED Mirror Signal MOD-Step by Step 90profx Exterior 64 05-23-2015 10:58 PM
How to find out why your TrailBlazer Stalls! OneSickS10 OEM Issues 63 04-18-2014 09:24 AM
Anyone in Philadelphia Area able to change actual mileage? TrailinAlong517 TrailBlazer / Envoy Chat 10 11-13-2009 06:43 PM
Custom Lift and Suspension AlekG Off-Road 20 05-31-2008 06:35 PM
Cam installation, various tips for the DIY'ers.... 02redhawk Transmission Mods 5 07-09-2007 10:09 PM


» Sponsors

Advertising Info

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:57 PM.


Chevy TrailBlazer and GMC Envoy Enthusiasts - Copyright 2004 - 2009 All Rights Reserved.
All trademarks referenced herein are property of their respective owners.
RSS Feed